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A Survey of Cosmic Repulsion

from Old Blues by Bad History Month

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lyrics

6. A Survey of Cosmic Repulsion

Everyone looks ugly when they're close enough to kiss,
we notice all the details that we missed from a distance.
But a face is not supposed to suffer eyes within an inch,
we shut them by custom, because ignorance is bliss.
Porous skin or wax-caked make-up,
the scent and taste of foreign breath,
from across the room, their features drew you closer,
but proximity spells death
to Illusion.

Even my close friends fall victim to this parallax,
whatever was attractive quickly cracks from overexposure.
Suddenly I hate a man I've loved for many years,
an uncanny valley filled with beer yawns between us...

"What do you see when you look at me,
this person that you think you know?
We are both Chasms, covered with blank canvas,
and the light that shines between us is
the glow of our projections."

Knowing this, I've tried to allow,
people close to me to be free,
of Expectation, and Disappointment,
but they just wind up disappointed in me.

How can I see clearly
once I've learned to stop projecting
what I want to see on people?
All that's left is there projections...
and though they flatter and inflate
my bloated sense that I am great,
the distorted loop of self-reflection,
forms a glaze of disconnection,
you're opaque to me, you're a question
I don't even think to ask.

Who and where are you, Chasm,
what do you see?
Please help me escape this echo chamber cave,
this lonesome, palatial open grave,
this imperceptibly slow-motion, ever cresting, impermanent wave called "Me".

We're in two cars in thick fog, idling on a road that's been broken,
we are facing each other across a drawbridge stuck open.
I can't see you, but I can hear you, leaning on your horn.
I honk back, then decide to relax, so I turn up the radio,
the signal is strong, and it's a good song, so I sing along.

Maybe it's impossible to bridge this Cosmic gap,
maybe all there is, is Sex and other traps and brief distractions.
If that's the case, I guess we'll have to settle for the best that it gets,
for a moment we'll forget this Separation.
Everyone looks ugly when they're close enough to kiss,
and luckily for me I'm into Ugliness.
So let's play the genetic lottery, and lose, and be Fuck You's
to the Culture and its victims who'd refuse us.

credits

from Old Blues, released April 24, 2020

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Bad History Month Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

SHOWS:
JAN 12 PHILLY, ABYSSINIA,
229 S 45th St

JAN 13 NYC, MIGUEL'S BABY, 137 W 14TH ST, MANHATTAN

JAN 14 NEW HAVEN CT,
Never Ending Books, 810 State St.

JAN 15 BOSTON, DEEP THOUGHTS, 138b South St JP

JAN 16 PORTLAND, ME PRISM ANALOG,
34 Preble St

JAN 17 DAY OF REST

JAN 18 PORTSMOUTH, NH, WSCA,
909 Islington St #1

photos by Ben Rector: linktr.ee/famousduckphotographer
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