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To Be Free

by Bad History Month

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1.
Got born again, now I feel old again, I thought I'd stumbled somewhere true, these days it feels like life's on hold again, and I've traveled further than I knew, over the hills and through the valleys toward the shadow of death, it's right over there, scan the horizon man, I feel ill prepared. Over the hills again over the hills again over the hills again
2.
Parked in the breakdown lane of life waiting for a truck to tow me away watching the whooshing world blow by on a frozen sunny day with the windows closed there's a desiccated rose on the dust caked dashboard from over a year ago tired of watching the whooshing world blow by I rest my eyes and the day just dies another day just dies another day just dies another day just
3.
Back when I was clearheaded, I was aways scared of losing control, I held myself in clenches counting breaths just to settle my soul. It didn't work too well but I didn't wanna blur my world, so I trudged along, alone, sifting ashes and discovering pearls. Then the world just ended and eventually I took the leap, letting go and getting high and chilling out turned out to be a pretty good decision for me
4.
I lost track of the story I dropped the golden thread the little flash of light ahead that tells me no dead end is dead. Sitting in the dark, knowing the daylight's always near, knowing everything is golden just stupid sad and bored to tears. So glad I've got this soft dark place to lay, waiting for the sun to shine inside me on a sunny summer day. Nothing's wrong
5.
Shadow Work 05:19
I've sinned I've been angry and unkind so I've plumbed the depths in the dark parts of my mind where the light doesn't shine and found my way down to the dark mirror Beheld myself in stark relief and found things broken, evil and weak in the dark mirror Sifting through the soft black sand groping for the light of self reflection in the dark mirror doing shadow work I've been doing shadow work I've done shadow work and I've seen our base nature very clearly I knew a girl who turned the whole world against herself like a gun alone one xmas eve and it makes me wonder "what the fuck would Jesus do?" I wonder "what the fuck would Jesus do?" Glass houses and first thrown stones leave me with a dim view of a lot of you I wonder "what the fuck would Jesus do?" what the fuck would Jesus do? What The Fuck Would Jesus Do? Find me sifting through the soft black sand by the light of self-reflection in the dark mirror and there's a dark mirror waiting for you go through the grass is greener
6.
To Be Free 03:39
I can put the past behind me but it's tethered to my chest so I drag this dread through my dreams and I try to do my best I try to be free Point my shadow straight behind me always walking towards the sun but when the sun goes down it blinds me and my life becomes no fun but I try to be free Got this busted suit of armor that I built to run from pain but it's only doing harm here I'd really like to excavate and try to be free to be free to be free to be free

about

New year, new you, new bad history.
Six songs, mostly rockin, featuring "the Philly band"
z. bowen - drums
b. rector - guitar/cover photo
n. parry - bass
s. sprecher - guitar, words
No PR, diy subunderground style, tell all you're friends who'd wanna know.
I'm gonna make some tapes.
Try to be free.

Recorded/mixed/mastered near 4ever Boner by Dan Angel
in a weekend in September 2023. Hire Dan - sdatvs@yahoo.com
Check out Ben's photography, it's really special and inspiring
and beautiful and unique, just like the man himself.
linktr.ee/famousduckphotographer

credits

released January 12, 2024

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Bad History Month Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

SHOWS:
JAN 12 PHILLY, ABYSSINIA,
229 S 45th St

JAN 13 NYC, MIGUEL'S BABY, 137 W 14TH ST, MANHATTAN

JAN 14 NEW HAVEN CT,
Never Ending Books, 810 State St.

JAN 15 BOSTON, DEEP THOUGHTS, 138b South St JP

JAN 16 PORTLAND, ME PRISM ANALOG,
34 Preble St

JAN 17 DAY OF REST

JAN 18 PORTSMOUTH, NH, WSCA,
909 Islington St #1

photos by Ben Rector: linktr.ee/famousduckphotographer
... more

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